Benefit Claims Gifts

'You look nervous, kid.. this your first time?'

Social Security, The Movie!

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

Labor Day '19

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

Will work for health insurance.

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

Employee Benefits

"Our dental plan is fluoridation of the water cooler."

Insurance claim on Grandma

'You're on benefits, Mr Scrote, I can't sign you off work - I can only sign you off LOOKING for work.'

'You lot are wrong - he's fit enough to get back up there!'

Universal Credits Computer: Kaput

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

'You've been assessed as incapable of doing this work.'

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

'Health benefit? Didn't you get a personal first aid kit when you started working here?'

'No, you don't get a check because your computer is disabled.'

Help wanted. Excellent medical insurance. Salary also available.

"I just found out the amount of my monthly pension. They should rename this office the INHUMAN relations department!"

"Dental benefits? Sure, there's a firm door-knob on the storage room's door and a ball of string inside."

"Take me to your benefits office."

"Just because times are tough doesn't mean we should cut back on staff training...So today I'd like you to spend some time at the benefits agency..."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'