Benefit Claims Gifts

'You look nervous, kid.. this your first time?'

Social Security, The Movie!

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

Labor Day '19

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'Does your company have a dental plan?'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

'Right... twenty squats and fifty press ups or no fit note.'

"Our dental plan is fluoridation of the water cooler."

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

Will work for health insurance.

Employee Benefits

Insurance claim on Grandma

Companies are slashing employee health care and pension benefits. Cutting, slashing, trimming, eliminating. Look at them go. I feel like I'm watching a great athlete on tv. I'm so inspired! You're one odd duck. Rudy – come hither my overpaid dumpling!

'You're on benefits, Mr Scrote, I can't sign you off work - I can only sign you off LOOKING for work.'

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

'You lot are wrong - he's fit enough to get back up there!'

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

You're eliminating my heath care benefits? Yes, I'm sorry to say. You can't do that. Of course I can. I'm your employer. I'm cutting costs, which I happen to love. I'm telling you, you can't. Watch me. I never had benefits in the first place! This is so devastating.

Universal Credits Computer: Kaput

'You've been assessed as incapable of doing this work.'

"I'm sorry Mr. Lewis, but recurrent ice cream headaches don't qualify you for disability."

'Health benefit? Didn't you get a personal first aid kit when you started working here?'

"Dental benefits? Sure, there's a firm door-knob on the storage room's door and a ball of string inside."

'No, you don't get a check because your computer is disabled.'

"Take me to your benefits office."

"I just found out the amount of my monthly pension. They should rename this office the INHUMAN relations department!"

Help wanted. Excellent medical insurance. Salary also available.