"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"
Bench Philosopher Gifts
Searching for the perfect gift for a bench philosopher? Explore our range of humorous and clever products designed for those who enjoy pondering life's big questions from their favorite park seat or cozy spot. Whether they’re a jazzed-up thinker or a laid-back sage, you'll find something that matches their creative spirit and love for reflective moments with a dash of wit.
Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.
"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."
"Feel free to take notes."
'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'
"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"
He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.
"I AM at my usual position."
For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...
A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.
'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'
Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'
"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."
The dangerous world of the armchair thinker
"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."
All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.
'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'
"May I offer a very different scenario?"
'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'
"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."
"I should've never studied canon law."
"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"
"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"
'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'
The Three Kinds of People
'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'
"I don't believe in egrets."
'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'
"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."
"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"
"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."
"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."
"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"
"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."
"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."
Bench Philosopher Gifts Collection
Bench Philosopher Mugs
Discover our range of mugs for the bench philosopher—perfect for inspiring their daily reflections with wit and wisdom.
Bench Philosopher Pillows
Find cozy pillows that echo the contemplative spirit of the bench philosopher. Perfect for inspiring thoughtful relaxation.
Bench Philosopher Prints
Decorate their space with our thought-provoking prints, celebrating the creative and reflective nature of true philosophers.
Bench Philosopher T-Shirts
Explore our clever t-shirts, designed for creative minds who love to wear their curiosity and humor on their sleeve.