Beliefs Gifts

'The end is near.'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Before we eat, who would like to bow their head and proclaim they no longer believe in saying Grace?"

"Thank God it's just the Grim Reaper of Death. I thought it was a Jehovah's witness."

Santa Believes In God.

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

Your angel is always with you

"I was destined to become a martyr…I've always had that fire in my belly."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Welcome: Skeptics Society

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"He's mad at God."

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

"Not sure that's the graven image of Baal we were looking for."

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

'What do you mean you're trying to decide between the key to the kingdom and the key to success?'

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'I say it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere.', 'Who do you think you're kidding?'

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.