Religion And Beliefs Gifts

Last week, the cafe where this lighthearted feature takes place was torn by religious differences. Would you like faith-based of non-faith-based seating? So it came to pass that the protagonist was forced to choose allegiance which he did with predictable zeal. Thou art a sinner! Thou?

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Moses on the web

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."