Religion And Spirituality Gifts

Holy Mackerel

'Ever heard of vibrate?'

Prayer and hygiene

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"We only got six days of funding."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'T.M.I.F.'

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Moses separating his Laundry.