Spirituality Gifts

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"No, no, that's not a sin, either. My goodness, you must have worried yourself to death."

"I just feel we'd know more people in Hell."

"Actually, it's pronounced 'An-hel'."

"Now that I'm here, could you tell me what that was all about."

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"Go ask your mother."

"Enough yin. More yang."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"No way! It's definitely your turn to 'be one' with the dishes."

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"I want to learn to live in the moment... just not this moment. some other moment. Like a moment on the beach."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

"It saves energy and makes me feel holier."

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

"Are we there yet?"

'Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding empathetically?'

The Grand Scheme of Things: You are here.

Stairway to heaven with man in wheelchair at bottom.

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'I can explain the meaning of life, but I can't explain Medicare drug coverage.'

'What's the catch?'

'I'd really appreciate it if you'd refrain from shouting 'KA-CHING!!!' every time you become one with the universe.'

'My asset allocation? 40% 'ying' and 60% 'yang'.'

Vending Machine: Epiphanies... Now in six yummy varieties!

"No, but I can tell you the meaning of whole or term life insurance."

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.