Bedtime Performer Gifts

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Late night teddy reading

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

The Poky Little Pupa.

'She's just great with the children.'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Bed Seasons

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Name your sources."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'