Bedtime Gymnast Gifts

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'Where was the TSA?'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Time for bed, guys."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Fairtale prosecutions.

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

'I don't mind him sleeping on our bed but why must he wear MY pyjamas?'

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."