Bedtime Gymnast Pillows

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Swan Fairy Tales

'Where was the TSA?'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Time for bed, guys."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'What did St. Patrick have against snakes?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

'I don't mind him sleeping on our bed but why must he wear MY pyjamas?'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

You read me a story about a workaholic little engine, and you expect it to make me sleepy?

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

Fairtale prosecutions.

'And you thought you grew big pumpkins.'

'I wish we lived in one of those later time zones.'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

Stop hogging the sheets

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

"And what's the story behind the story?"

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"