Bedtime Analyst Pillows

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Sleeping masks

Wake up! You're hogging all the nails again.

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

The Force of Example.

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

Exercise for the end of the day...

"See you in the morning."

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

We have mandatory retirement at my house, too. They make me go to bed by eight-thirty.

"The cow jumped over the moon? The dish ran away with the spoon? Dad... it just doesn't pass the smell test."

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

"Tell me a story Mommy!"