Bedtime Strategist Pillows

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"See you in the morning."

'Alright. . . Yes there IS a monster in this closet, and if you don't go to sleep I'm letting it out!'

'She's tricky.'

Cricketer praying before bed "and please,please,please no short risers on middle and leg."

Suggestion box attached to headboard on bed

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"I'm not 'looking to further my toxic agenda' I'm just telling you it's your bedtime."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

Please take them off

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

Sleeping masks

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

The Force of Example.

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

Napquest

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."