Sleepy Time Strategist Pillows

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

Interpretive napping

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"It would keep me awake all night, but I'm up for a game of coffee pong first thing in the morning."

"I know I shouldn't let them have so much screen time, but how else am I supposed o get anything done?"

The Thinker (Millennials Edition)

"Go around the block, my show's not done."

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

"Her phone has parental controls, but I have to ask her how to use them."

"The secret to my productivity is sleeping when everyone is awake."

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

"See you in the morning."

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

'We just have to win this account, Barbara and I have another litter on the way!'

Napquest

When the cats realized that Hubert had permanently taken over their favourite couch, they took action.

"Wow, this new version is a way more immersive waste of our youth."

'Mom! I'm not a couch potato, I'm your media consultant.'

"Dear, putting your phone down while eating is not 'living off the grid.'"

'Buy 1000 more credits or the snappy slime monster will gobble your pixie.'

The night-shift had an ingenious way of staying awake during the long nights!

"I hate to say this, but I miss the days when all he did was stare at his phone."

"If I knew what our 401k was doing maybe I could sleep."