Bedtime Analyst T-Shirts

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"Never get between a mama bear and her cub – unless you want to hear a long story about our struggles with bedtime."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

Sleeping masks

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"I thought it was just the cap that was child-resistant."

The Force of Example.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"Must you bring your work to bed?"

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

'Stop biting your nails son and get to sleep!'

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

"See you in the morning."

Exercise for the end of the day...

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

'I'll only be using it as a night light.'

"The cow jumped over the moon? The dish ran away with the spoon? Dad... it just doesn't pass the smell test."

'How come we never have porridge?'

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'