Bedtime Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'They saved their files before closing and lived happily ever after.'

"Many, many news cycles ago..."

Sleeping Positions

A woman is sat in bed and retreats further under the duvet during the week days.

'And so we come to the concluding episode of Barthelmew Cubbins and the 500 hats.'

'School vacation is over...come along quietly.'

Four different kinds of sleepers.

'How come we never have porridge?'

'He never gets past the first page.'

Sleeping masks

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"When Mom reads that story, the dragon comes off as a much more sympathetic character."

Bedtime story.

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs would make a great reality show."

"And so, with thee help of their relate counsellor, they lived happily ever after..."

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

"Any other refrences besides the Three Bears?"

Please take them off

Bear Porridge

"No, I want a story I already know all the words to."

'Well yes, son. I imagine some marriages of convenience took place.'

When hunters read bedtime stories.

" 'Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.' "