Bedroom Analyst T-Shirts

"Don't worry, it happens to lots of guys. In my experience, literally hundreds and hundreds of guys."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

'Your performance in bed?...On technical merit of artistic impression?'

"It happens to men your age. No one's judging."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Performance In The Bedroom

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

Falling Stock.

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"If Harold had learned anything over 50 years of marriage, it was the importance of keeping things interesting in the bedroom."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

A couple look at a graph on their bed

Why you must get up.

Woman with a 'Teach yourself better sex' book has put man in the corner with a dunce haton

"Do you have anything a little firmer?"

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

"I broke up with Carl when I realized even his inner beauty was hideous."

Businesspeople gather in bedroom setting 'They can't regulate us in here.'

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."