Bedtime Performer T-Shirts

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Late night teddy reading

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

Shadow Puppet Bunny Threatened By Shadow Hawk

'She's just great with the children.'

'Read me the one about the ant and the obsessive-compulsive grasshopper.'

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"And if that diamond ring don’t shine, Poppa will probably take it back to 47th Street and get something for your mother."

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Why don't you ever like to spoon?

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'