Nighttime Performer Gifts

'Turn me back into a lovely assistant right now Martin.'

Sleep conducting

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Caught in the Music

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Burlyesque

"Papi, I heard something!"

"Mind if I read a little?"

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

The End is Night

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

A blind conductor leading and blind orchestra

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"Despite her initial concerns, in time, Linda grew to appreciate the endearing qualities of Dan's sleep, sashaying."

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

'-and to all you night owls out there...'

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

Pianissimo - (to sing very softly).

'There, you see?... There aren't any humans hiding under your bed.'

"But I'm not even tir..."

Artist and night

"Get whatever you want. My mom's paying."

Huddling Lampposts

"It was just a bad dream darling. See, the moon's still here. You can go back to sleep now..."

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'

'I'm getting kind of tired of working so much at night.'

Wake up, Don. You're TED talking in your sleep again.