Bedtime Jester Gifts

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"We're gonna need a Bigger bed."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"You owe me five bucks."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

"No. You turn over."

"I hate open-mike night."

Father nursing his sick child

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"I slept funny!"

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

Bedtime Reading

'Once upon a time'...'I've hear it.'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

"I had a dream that I was awake and trying to sleep and now I don't know what's going on."

A sleeping man counting scuba-diving sheep

"This is the story of the Three Liitle Pigskins and the Big Bad Wolf!"

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Bed time stories

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."