Snack Time Jester Gifts

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"You owe me five bucks."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"I hate open-mike night."

'He's all eyes!'

Inactive wear store.

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Hey, Jerky! You're standing in the middle of my entrée!"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

Lady has a coffee break.

"I slept funny!"

'Purpose of visit?'

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

Suicide by overeating.

Doomed Food Group

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

'If you're going to send messages on the office intranet make sure you know who's going to get them.'

Snack Time

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"

'Have a McWater. It's all we can serve without being sued.'

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

Toddler in the bed: a journey

"I'm confused. Is this a late lunch or is it early dinner?"

'You should be grateful, wife! When I eat all that fat and cholesterol, you can't eat it and stay healthy!'

"I've found my soul mate!"

'I'm afraid medical science really doesn't know very much about 'the munchies.''

"I like the plastic toy, but not the cereal. Daddy can eat that."