Snack Time Jester Pillows

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"You owe me five bucks."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"I hate open-mike night."

'He's all eyes!'

Inactive wear store.

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"I slept funny!"

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

'Purpose of visit?'

"Hey, Jerky! You're standing in the middle of my entrée!"

Lady has a coffee break.

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

"Who do you have to know around here to get a fluffy?"

Doomed Food Group

Warning: Eating this food could result in a decrease of health benefits

"It's hard to believe...one chocolate biscuit can spread quite so far."

Suicide by overeating.

'If you're going to send messages on the office intranet make sure you know who's going to get them.'

"Dear God, noooooo oooo!" "The Oreo tragedy"

"Do you have any other snack concepts?"

Snack Time

'Have a McWater. It's all we can serve without being sued.'

Toddler in the bed: a journey

'Consumer alert! Consumer alert! - If it tastes good, spit it out!'

'You should be grateful, wife! When I eat all that fat and cholesterol, you can't eat it and stay healthy!'

"I've found my soul mate!"

"I'm confused. Is this a late lunch or is it early dinner?"

'I'm afraid medical science really doesn't know very much about 'the munchies.''

"I like the plastic toy, but not the cereal. Daddy can eat that."