Bedroom Sovereign Gifts

"Can a ten year old really declare his room a self-proclaimed state?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Biting Slippers.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Are we there yet?"

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Falling Stock.

'Don't hurt it.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

Remote controlled jester.

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

A couple look at a graph on their bed

I can't believe you're still hogging the sheets.

Introducing the Tofuton

Why you must get up.

"It's O.K., hon, it happens. It even happened to NATO."

Woman with a 'Teach yourself better sex' book has put man in the corner with a dunce haton

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

'And now...thanks to...the blue pill...a triple lutz.'