Bedroom Sovereign Pillows

"Can a ten year old really declare his room a self-proclaimed state?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Biting Slippers.

'Gravity wins - again.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Are we there yet?"

Falling Stock.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

Remote controlled jester.

A couple look at a graph on their bed

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

Introducing the Tofuton

Why you must get up.

Woman with a 'Teach yourself better sex' book has put man in the corner with a dunce haton

"It's O.K., hon, it happens. It even happened to NATO."

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

'And now...thanks to...the blue pill...a triple lutz.'

"Why can't I ever meet a man with a bad back?"