Bedroom Pillows

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Leonard lay awake, staring at - at apparently creeping out - the ceiling.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Tedious Romantic.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

Biting Slippers.

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

The trouble with memory foam beds.

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

Wine Lovers

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"Are we there yet?"

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'