Bedroom Musician Pillows

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Tedious Romantic.

"How many verses of 'Froggie Went A-Courting' are there, Jay, before your pill kicks in?"

Performance In The Bedroom

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

Bed Fellow

'We'll take it!'

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

'My member requires some interest.'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"Are we there yet?"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

Chicane

Selfish man stealing the duvet.