Bedroom Dweller Pillows

Biting Slippers.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

The Art Student.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

In case of emergency, break glass.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

The weightless office.

Student Food Pyramid

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

A menu with risks and benefits

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

Al, The Go-From Guy

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

"That's our copy cat."

"I'm sorry, Marvin. I can only spend so much time off the grid."

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."