Bedroom T-Shirts

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Leonard lay awake, staring at - at apparently creeping out - the ceiling.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Tedious Romantic.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

Biting Slippers.

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

Wine Lovers

The trouble with memory foam beds.

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"Are we there yet?"

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'