Bedroom Royalty Pillows

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Biting Slippers.

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

Wine Lovers

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'

I can't believe you're still hogging the sheets.

Sleep-Eez Bedding

Why you must get up.

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

"It's O.K., hon, it happens. It even happened to NATO."

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

"Can a ten year old really declare his room a self-proclaimed state?"

'And now...thanks to...the blue pill...a triple lutz.'

"I can't be bothered to do nothing, I'm just going to let it happen."

"Why can't I ever meet a man with a bad back?"