Bedroom Royalty Pillows

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Biting Slippers.

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

Wine Lovers

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

Queen with a crown-shaped hairdryer.

"Wow! I think you just moved up in the playoffs, Tom!"

Sleep-Eez Bedding

"I enjoy role-playing, but do we really need the dramaturge?"

'OK, the bedspread doesn't do it for you. What's your formula for arousal?'

Why you must get up.

'He's always wanted an adjustamatic.'

"Can a ten year old really declare his room a self-proclaimed state?"

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

"It's O.K., hon, it happens. It even happened to NATO."

'And now...thanks to...the blue pill...a triple lutz.'

"I can't be bothered to do nothing, I'm just going to let it happen."

"Fred, listen! Can you hear me? The desensitizing cream - it's for external use."

Your antidepressants are in the oven.