Bedroom Banter Enthusiast Pillows

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"No. You turn over."

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Bed Fellow

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'We'll take it!'

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

Wine Lovers

101 Positions/101 Excuses

'My member requires some interest.'

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

Chicane

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.

"Bloody hell Mavis, the earth DID move!"

"Two minute warning..."

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

' Dave - I need you to give me more space.'