Bedroom Chat Enthusiasts Pillows

"You were there. You saw how he tried to twist my words, like I was the one doing all the complaining. You have to admit he was acting like a baby..."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

Communication

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'We'll take it!'

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

Wine Lovers

"It's just a dinner table conversation. Must you refer to it as 'Talking Off-line'."

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Honey are you asleep?" "I am now."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

"Is there room for me?"

Pete's trying to groom himself"

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.

He's a brilliant doctor, but his bedside manner needs work…

"It was meant as a compliment. In my eyes, you're a real pig."

Bob searched far and wide for his soul mate. It looked promising, aside from the language barrier and shipping costs.

"Bloody hell Mavis, the earth DID move!"

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"