Bedside Banter Lover Pillows

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'It's called a bedSIDE manner, Doctor.'

The Gilmore Girls

Cold caller.

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

'Here comes Ted.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

"But it wouldn't be premarital sex unless we got married."