Bed Linen Collector Gifts

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

When laundry ruled the waves.

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Utility Chic.

Baby blanket.

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"Which free tote goes best?"

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

Outlaw Quilting Bees

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"It was a crime of fashion."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

"We're editing our collection of plastic bags."

'I am wearing my bikini!'

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

Sheet Music

"WOW! Talk about rip tide!!"

'This crocodile handbag never gets nicked!'

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

Intimate Apparel and Inmate Apparel.

'I have a dress for every day of the year. Is that it?'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"