Utensil Collector Gifts

"Congrats! It's a spork."

'Congratulations. You're the proud parents of a brand new baby spork.'

Forklift truck

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Oh I don't mind you turning over my cups to look at the mark. But next time, please finish your tea.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

A Fork-lift.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Mostly Identified Flying Objects

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

"I brought a new can opener, but let's save the old one in case we ever need a broken can opener."

The Spoonish Inquisition

Swiss excalibur...

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

There's a fork in the road.

Knife splits newly weds on wedding cake

Surgeons using a Swiss Army Knife.

Bananas eye the blender

'I don't know what it is but those tusks would make beautiful knife handles.'

Dennis's fear of sharp objects was well founded on his recent trip down memory lane."