Toiletry Collector Gifts

She quickly filled her pockets...

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

'It's a spork!'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"Which free tote goes best?"

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

Bad Outfit Alarm.

Anarchist Cutlery: Soup Knife/ Bread Fork, Steak Spoon.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

"Wot? No toilet paper?"

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

"If anyone ever asks...it's hard to eat soup with a fork."

Love cutlery

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

Fork reading newspaper

"Oh, thank God!"

Don't ask. Just get me the @#^$ out of here. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-03-11).

'This is not what I meant last night when I asked you to spoon me.'

'This is a magnificent restaurant. Which fork should I use to comb my hair?'

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

'What possible use can that have? Now excuse me, I've got to go to the bathroom.'

"A bottle in the organs' bin? How many times do I have to tell you people: sort your recyclables?"