Bed Linen Collector T-Shirts

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

When laundry ruled the waves.

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Utility Chic.

Baby blanket.

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'This one has been banned in Benidorm.'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"It was a crime of fashion."

Retail store: 'put this on and shut up!'

"Which free tote goes best?"

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Outlaw Quilting Bees

The evolution of a woman's purse.

Bad Outfit Alarm.

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

'I'm really focused on trying to get my black belt.'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

"We're editing our collection of plastic bags."

Sheet Music

'This crocodile handbag never gets nicked!'

"Mom! Are these capri pants, or did I just get taller?"

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

"WOW! Talk about rip tide!!"

'Mummy, why is lace so expensive when it is mainly holes?'

'I told you the next time you crossed me it would be curtains for you!'

Intimate Apparel and Inmate Apparel.

What's your guess? "Venetian blondes."