Bed Sheet Collector T-Shirts

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

Shall I be mother?

'Music & Gym'

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Utility Chic.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

Gramaphone Man.

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Piano Prompt

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

Baby blanket.

'See? I told you that it was a bad idea to pitch our tent at Camp Giant Eagle! Say . . .isn't that MY pillow?'

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

'Look dear - the first skip of spring...'

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

'You're just in time. But your attaché case is late again.'

"I stopped recycling after my garbage guy slipped me the number of the nearest AA branch."

His master's voice

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."