Bed Hog Solver Pillows

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Solution to chuckholes...and have fun, too!

"If women are te weaker sex, how come they get most of the duvet?"

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

"Oddly enough, I could never work in a cubicle."

'How can I stop these moles digging up the garden?'

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."

"You knew I had a thing for pillows when you married me."

Murder mystery bookshelf falls on passerby.

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

Innovate - man boobs and gut bra.

"Relax. Once the blood rushes to your head you'll fall right asleep."

'It's $50 for fixing the sink, and $300 for babysitting your husband.'

Woman reading a article titled 'Dead men don't snore',

'For Diahrrea in hogs? Well, first of all, I'd feed bland garbage!'

Woman gives snoring man a dummy/pacifier.

Dog fetching smelly slippers.

"My wife! Lying curled in the bed!"

"Well you won't be nicking all the duvet tonight."

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

"I can't find anything in the rules against it!"

A Matador in Trouble

'I've solved my parking problem... I've bought a parked car!'

More or less dry

Man stranded on desert islandbirds