Becoming Single Gifts

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

No boyfriend, can't be bothered t-shirt

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Do you know what girls want?"

"I had guys chase my tail, then one day I thought, hey, dummy, get rid of the middlemen and chase your own tail!"

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

'Are you seeing anybody?'

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

Susie's single status had spread to her socks.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

'You never knew your father -- he chased a squirrel into a car wash.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

Boyfriend Shirt.

He's Tasty!

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."