Becoming A Mother Gifts

'That's nothing, you want to try juggling three kids and a full time job.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Mommy! Mommy! Look at me!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you have to ask if they come with batteries, then you're too young to have a baby."

The perils of boob jobs.

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

'I'm struggling with Empty Pouch Syndrome.'

The Elephant in the Womb

"No, he's not my first. I've had dozens."

"Mum said it's OK for us to watch. So it can't be much good."

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

Royal Pic Photoshop

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

"Of course what else would it be?"

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

Enjoy your 'we' time.

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

Baby menu with selection of breasts.

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

Good mom/ Good mom

'Ma'am, your account at the sperm bank is overdrawn.'

Mother Nature

Muy mum rocks.

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Children's Clothes

Maternity Room: Push, Push, Push.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"I was a much better parent before I had children."

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"His first out-of-body experience."