Beauty Product Punsters Pillows

"I allege that the defendant is not a 2-in-1 shampoo conditioner, but, in fact, a 3-in-1 shampoo conditioner murderer."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lesser known greek gods,

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

A dog reads a newspaper

'What do you think? Edible nail polish.'

"You have a very rare conditioner."

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

"She's had so much work done that she's starting to look like her mother."

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Fart. Le Poot.

Unnecessary Surgery

"Have you ever been young before?"

"Jack Russell?"

50 Shades of Brown: Tanning Salon

'Do you have a perfume that will make me smell thinner?'

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

'I want a smaller carrot.'

'Yet another attempt at making a decent face cream!'

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

Gullible prunes.