Beauty Ambassador Pillows

"Sorry mate - I can't come to the pub after the match because I've got to embarrass myself filming an advert for moisturiser."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Love linked

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Are you OK hun?"

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

If you want to see love be love.

Have you got your make up on yet?

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

Nato Membership

"Mr. Macron, Mr. Draghi. Welcome to Kiev! Why didn't you bring Mr. Scholz with you?"

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

Diplomacy Between Cuba and US

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

"No note!? With no note, sending our envoy's head back in a box could mean anything!"

Love and hate

Diplomats in the form of doormats

"This will make the man in your life wonder where you went."

Teach Love

Emotional Support Dog

Lake City Optimist Club - Peachy/Keen.

"Last week we simultaneously deleted our Tinder profiles. So we're practically engaged now."

"Maybe some of us don't want to give ourselves a round of applause for agreeing to restore the delicate balance of our ecosystem."

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

Negotiations

Merkel and Hollande in Moscow

'Rock beats scissors, sanctions it is!'

"I want a natural birth, no make-up, no lip gloss, no..."

Idealized portrait of a rooster.

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."