Beauty Advisor T-Shirts

'Yes, I see you're not applying makeup... But you should.'

'You must lose weight...you're as fat as a rake!'

"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

New Twenty Blades

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck is up with my hair?"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Botox."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"