Beauty Commentator T-Shirts

"I don't care if they are fake. I like 'em."

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I got Golden Ash Blond No. 334, just like you said."

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Renaissance Zone

Toilet roll beauty tips.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'Google Earth is getting SO precise! Right now, I'm zoomed in on Kathy Mangiante's face and I can tell she's had lip implants!'

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."

"The cost of a haircut? It depends on what's in your underpants."

"My talent agent tells me I have the perfect face for a hand model."

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"Your eyebrows are beautiful, darling. I know you hate drawing them on."

Romee Strijd caricature

T-Shirts. Just do it. Just watch it.

TV Programme - Celebrity cosmetically enhanced body parts.

"Actually, I do look a lot like my mom. It's just that I have her first nose."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I asked for razzle-dazzle – not frizzle-frazzle."

Got anything in high definition?

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

'Hey, awesome jacket, Melanie! Suede?'

"I'm suck if this pressure to be beautiful all the time."

What puberty used to do. What puberty apparently does now.