Fashion Commentator T-Shirts

Man wearing boxer shorts being tossed out of Café with waiter adding 'No Pants, No Service' to window sign.

'Hey, awesome jacket, Melanie! Suede?'

'I'm not a fashion model, I just can't afford to eat.'

"For crying out loud, stop calling those your 'fat pants.'"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Darling, I love how you've curated yourself."

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'