Fashion Commentator Gifts

Man wearing boxer shorts being tossed out of Café with waiter adding 'No Pants, No Service' to window sign.

'Hey, awesome jacket, Melanie! Suede?'

'I'm not a fashion model, I just can't afford to eat.'

"For crying out loud, stop calling those your 'fat pants.'"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.