Apparel Commentators Gifts

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"That's a good look for you, J.B."

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

Man in carriage waiting for shopping wife

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Style Consultant

'You won't come out with me in MY outfit when I stay in with you in THAT outfit?'

"I don't mind the dressing up... it's the way they serve the food that irks me."

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

"Do you have any camouflage pants? I want to hide my hips."