Beauty Advice Giver T-Shirts

"Trust me, the best beauty tip is to get a good toothpaste and brush your teeth twice a day: it will keep you looking young. . ."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The adoration of the gels.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Bad hair day!

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

Pampered and poodled.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Dating is so expensive...

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

What price beauty?

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"I don't like your application."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

Curling your hair for no reason

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

"Who's a pretty girl now?"

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Woman applying makeup