Beauty Guru T-Shirts

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"You've caught me at a bad time. I was just shaving my legs."

"Who's the fairest? Thanks to Magic Mirror Sunscreen, now anyone can be."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'You're the fairest of them all. That's why you have to use sunscreen.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'That new concealer works great!'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

Manicure - "Would Madam like the house red?"

"I hardly recognized you without makeup."

Leg shaving

Dragon Hair-dryer.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Then again, if it did rain, my hair would get all frizzy."

Pumice Stone Accidents.

Tight skin.

'You do Botox?'

'The constant pressure of looking one's best is actually very stressful...'

'Easy with the make-up, dear- we don't want you looking like a wino, do we!!'

Cuticles Ugly-cles.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Miranda Kerr

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

"Take it from me...you've got to exfoliate."

"You're using too much concealer Sharon. . ."

"Tone me down a bit, Evelyn. I'm going home for the holidays."

"You should go sit out in the sun. Get some color. You'd look good with a tan. And a cigarette. I think you'd look really good with a tan and a cigarette."

"A word to the wise- never put on mascara when you're drunk."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Curling your hair for no reason

"You left your makeup bag? At my place? Really? Let me look for it..."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

The adoration of the gels.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."