Beauty Guru Pillows

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

"You've caught me at a bad time. I was just shaving my legs."

"Who's the fairest? Thanks to Magic Mirror Sunscreen, now anyone can be."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'You're the fairest of them all. That's why you have to use sunscreen.'

Manicure - "Would Madam like the house red?"

Anita Roddick

'That new concealer works great!'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

'Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair so I can use a little lightener to bring out highlights and a conditioner to give it rich full body!'

Cuticles Ugly-cles.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"You're using too much concealer Sharon. . ."

Leg shaving

Tight skin.

'Easy with the make-up, dear- we don't want you looking like a wino, do we!!'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

"Then again, if it did rain, my hair would get all frizzy."

'The constant pressure of looking one's best is actually very stressful...'

"I hardly recognized you without makeup."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Take it from me...you've got to exfoliate."

Miranda Kerr

Pumice Stone Accidents.

'You do Botox?'

Shampoos: Straight, Wavy and Curly

"I've always said make-up sex is the best!"

'I'm told I cut a fine figure ... now you want to.'

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"You won't be needing this anti-aging cream."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"My girlfriend wants to make up. What would you recommend?"