Health Advice Giver T-Shirts

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Govt. UK led by Seance

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

"My doctor told me to get outdoors more, so now I put on more yard sales."

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

Jim's Smart Kettle

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

Food Pyramid.

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Some will love you and some will hate you. It's always been that way with anchovies."

Vaping cigarette

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

Enormous obesity report.

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."

I'll sleep better if I only drink one cup of coffee a day.

Group Insurance/Vitamins

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"