Beauty Standards Analyst T-Shirts

Real Girls with REAL legs

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

New Twenty Blades

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Botox."

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Botox...'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"More concealer?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Mirror mirror...

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."